Confession

everytime when i wanna post a blog..
i'll tink dat wad's de purpose of it?
y am i posing a blog..
if i'm writing wad inside my thoughts, i don really hope ppl to read it..
as ppl wil know wad's really inside me..
but now, i decided to post blog whenever i wan2..
a way of expressing my feeling..
doesnt care wad i wrote about...
it's my feeling on dat particular moment.

for a year n a few months more i'm stil single..
i don giv a chance to b unavaible..
y?
actually i dunno wad's de true reason..
mayb i juz scared to get hurt, hate of de feeling of dissapointment..or sacre to hurt ppl..
i really don hav de confidence to b in relationship again..

i read one of his blog 2day..
it's written on valentine's day..
i rmb last year valentine's...he was in de ns camp..
i past de day all alone, no dating, no movie...
but i got his present, n a card..
i did keep it til now..i love to collect greetings cards n present actually..^^
cuz they're memorable..

after read his post...i felt really bad..
after so long, he's stil hurt...
i hurt a person who loved me so much..
i wonder if i really lost my heart by hurting him so deely..
i blamed myself..
although tears din drop on my face, but it's bleeding in my heart...
am i wrong to end up our relation?
how could i?
i dunno wad's my feeling to him now..but i really felt guilty to him..
very very guilty instead..
he really is a gud guy..hard to find some1 like him anymore..
or mayb i wil never find a guy like him anymore..
i'm a lucky one but i gave up my choice..
there's no turning back for me, it had been so long n we got our own life now..
although i stil concern bout him but i din show out,i don hav de right to concern him..
i rather he hates me..
sometimes i wish dat we can bcom best fren like last time we used to..
but it's IMPOSSIBLE now..

heard from fren dat mayb he wil hav a gf soon..
it's a gud news for me..
cuz i hope dat he can walk out de darkness part of his life..
n forget everyting about me..
i'm really sorry...sorry for wad i did..
im so late! cuz i juz read ur post after half a year..
you dont nid to say sorry to me..
i know it's all my fault..
if de girl turns out to b ur gf..i hope dat dis time, u wil hav a sweet ending..
wish u happy always, my prayers wif u always..