wad was i tinking...?
wad is my feeling now...?
i left it with a question mark...
i really cant tell wad i wan now..
after all, he did a lil hate me..
no 1 wouldnt feel like dat if sth happened like dis..
but i hav sth to tell him here:
hell, im sure everyone knows wad's de difference between open minded n perverted, don worry about dis problem..
n i can truely tell u dat im NOT wad as u tink..
so u tink u can understand me well?
i tink u r wrong!!
u doesnt even know who knows me de best, or who my best fren is...
did u ever ask?!
after broke up, u went to ask some1 dat din know itsy of my problem, i seriously felt dat it was ridiculous...
n i din say dat i had no feel for u, if ya...i should be vr vr happy right now!
f**k!i juz don believe wad he tinks about me...
wadever...
it's not important now..
cuz he is NOT de 1 who understands me well either...
it's juz an interlude in my life!
well guys, don tink dat im mad...
i juz wanna express my feelings here...
for i hav nonid to hide anyting here cuz it's my blog..
lastly, i really wanna thanks some of my frens for willing ro listen to my problems n believe in me..
though i always play de bad character..
well, get used to it..haha!juz kidding..
dis may b de last time d..
i wil not comment on dis relationship anymore...
*file's closed*
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
end of 2008
hah...bad ending again...
it's not wad i always wanted..
perhaps i shouldnt giv it a try, or else it wont end up like dis...
im sorry that i gav him hope n then took it away from him
he told me that i made him realised that he has a heart, i taught him wad is love...
n he finally had tears for some1 who is leaving him..
im really glad that i made his live better, though is juz 1 n half months..
but i don tink dat im worth for it, it's nth to b happy n sad about me..
im sorry for wad i did n wad i said..
i made him waited for me for 3hours long dat day..
he was expected for a date that we haven been for 3 weeks long..
but what i did was a crash to him..
i screw up everything!
de words i said hurt him a lot..
but i juz wanna be honest..
i cant lie to him n even myself..so i decided to speak out de true feeling inside me..
i tot if i try, i can giv him more love n treat him wif my whole heart..
but i juz cant make it..
it juz feel not right..
i tink dis is de best way for us..
he deserves a better 1..
dis will be a lesson for me, n him as well..
hurting him might hurt myself too..
not that im not sad cuz i wanted to break up..
but at de same time, i lost myself..
i really hav to settle down now..
new year is coming..
i hope that everything bad wil b gone...
i wanna hav a new start without looking back..
dis wil be de end of 2008..
feel blessed when u hav what u wan..
appreciate everything even if u don own it..
may 2009 brings me a brighter life!
it's not wad i always wanted..
perhaps i shouldnt giv it a try, or else it wont end up like dis...
im sorry that i gav him hope n then took it away from him
he told me that i made him realised that he has a heart, i taught him wad is love...
n he finally had tears for some1 who is leaving him..
im really glad that i made his live better, though is juz 1 n half months..
but i don tink dat im worth for it, it's nth to b happy n sad about me..
im sorry for wad i did n wad i said..
i made him waited for me for 3hours long dat day..
he was expected for a date that we haven been for 3 weeks long..
but what i did was a crash to him..
i screw up everything!
de words i said hurt him a lot..
but i juz wanna be honest..
i cant lie to him n even myself..so i decided to speak out de true feeling inside me..
i tot if i try, i can giv him more love n treat him wif my whole heart..
but i juz cant make it..
it juz feel not right..
i tink dis is de best way for us..
he deserves a better 1..
dis will be a lesson for me, n him as well..
hurting him might hurt myself too..
not that im not sad cuz i wanted to break up..
but at de same time, i lost myself..
i really hav to settle down now..
new year is coming..
i hope that everything bad wil b gone...
i wanna hav a new start without looking back..
dis wil be de end of 2008..
feel blessed when u hav what u wan..
appreciate everything even if u don own it..
may 2009 brings me a brighter life!
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Jungle Trekking
went to Teluk Bahang for jungle trekking wif matric frens during 1st sem break..
it's quite an adventurous journey n we had a lot of fun, though it was very tiring...hehe..
it has been a long while din go for such activity ad..
we walk for 3300meter dat day, from de bottom of de mountain to another side...
until we reach "muka head", it's a seaside actually..
our last station was de light house..
it took us more than 30mins to reach de top i guess..
we got 10 ppl in total, but 6 of us refused to continue de journey wif de rest of them when we rest on de half way to de light house at first..
bcuz we're exhausted ad, we climbed hundreds of rock staircase all de way n there's stil lots of lots of staircase...
it's so tiring n our stamina is not strong enuff..
until then, we saw a family passby, there was a few kids follwing their parents n they seems very energetic...
omg, we lost to those kids!dat's wad i'm tinking by dat time...seriously..lolx..
after we had enuff of rest, we doubt whether to go down n wait for them or to continue to de light house....
finally, we made de decision to de light house..
when we reached de top, i was vr vr vr exhausted!
but i was vr happy dat i came...
cuz de view from de light house is vr beautiful, i can see de boarder of de earth...where de sea de sky r like connected wif each other...
it's really amazing..i'm glad dat we made it n did not giv up on de half way.. or else there'll b regrets.. =)
after dat, we walked down from de hill n rent a boat back to de land..we dont hav any energy left to walk back since we all haven taken our lunch yet n it's almost 2pm...haha..
we had our lunch at Sunrise McD b4 de separation...again, sunrise McD..lolx
we had a gret meal n a great talk,wad a relief....
i enjoy de day vr much...
looking foward for de next challenge ^^
it's quite an adventurous journey n we had a lot of fun, though it was very tiring...hehe..
it has been a long while din go for such activity ad..
we walk for 3300meter dat day, from de bottom of de mountain to another side...
until we reach "muka head", it's a seaside actually..
our last station was de light house..
it took us more than 30mins to reach de top i guess..
we got 10 ppl in total, but 6 of us refused to continue de journey wif de rest of them when we rest on de half way to de light house at first..
bcuz we're exhausted ad, we climbed hundreds of rock staircase all de way n there's stil lots of lots of staircase...
it's so tiring n our stamina is not strong enuff..
until then, we saw a family passby, there was a few kids follwing their parents n they seems very energetic...
omg, we lost to those kids!dat's wad i'm tinking by dat time...seriously..lolx..
after we had enuff of rest, we doubt whether to go down n wait for them or to continue to de light house....
finally, we made de decision to de light house..
when we reached de top, i was vr vr vr exhausted!
but i was vr happy dat i came...
cuz de view from de light house is vr beautiful, i can see de boarder of de earth...where de sea de sky r like connected wif each other...
it's really amazing..i'm glad dat we made it n did not giv up on de half way.. or else there'll b regrets.. =)
after dat, we walked down from de hill n rent a boat back to de land..we dont hav any energy left to walk back since we all haven taken our lunch yet n it's almost 2pm...haha..
we had our lunch at Sunrise McD b4 de separation...again, sunrise McD..lolx
we had a gret meal n a great talk,wad a relief....
i enjoy de day vr much...
looking foward for de next challenge ^^
Sunday, November 30, 2008
29 Nov 2008 - 2nd date - 16th day
dis is de 4th time we met but de 1st time in Penang..
it was a great day for although it's simple..
we had lunch at Secret Recipe, catched a movie at Gurney n went for a walk at Batu Ferringhi beach..
we cant hang out for long cuz i had a bus to catch to go home..
but i really cherish every moment when i was with him..cuz we dunno when we r able to meet again..
de moment while we're on de ferry..talking n joking around..holding his hand while he's holding mine..when he carried me at de beach n de moment when we r SO close to each other..^^
his hands r big, bigger than mine a lot dat my hands can only cover half of his..haha..
n his feet if compare to mine is juz like father's n daughter's feet, swt.....
he wears earrings on both his earlobe..luckily i pierce more holes than him on my ears ><
i love his eyes...
he got a pair of dazzling eyes which i can see sincere in it,hehe.. his eye lashes even longer than mine i guess...lol.
he really talks alot..
even when he is driving, he talk non-stop..hahaz!
check out his driving skill, he call it as his "ah pek driving skill" cuz he drives very 'safely'..hehe..
dis day is very special to us as it symbolized a special event...it's a secret.. ^^"
we took some pics b4 leavning gurney..
our very 1st pic 2gether =)
it was a great day for although it's simple..
we had lunch at Secret Recipe, catched a movie at Gurney n went for a walk at Batu Ferringhi beach..
we cant hang out for long cuz i had a bus to catch to go home..
but i really cherish every moment when i was with him..cuz we dunno when we r able to meet again..
de moment while we're on de ferry..talking n joking around..holding his hand while he's holding mine..when he carried me at de beach n de moment when we r SO close to each other..^^
his hands r big, bigger than mine a lot dat my hands can only cover half of his..haha..
n his feet if compare to mine is juz like father's n daughter's feet, swt.....
he wears earrings on both his earlobe..luckily i pierce more holes than him on my ears ><
i love his eyes...
he got a pair of dazzling eyes which i can see sincere in it,hehe.. his eye lashes even longer than mine i guess...lol.
he really talks alot..
even when he is driving, he talk non-stop..hahaz!
check out his driving skill, he call it as his "ah pek driving skill" cuz he drives very 'safely'..hehe..
dis day is very special to us as it symbolized a special event...it's a secret.. ^^"
we took some pics b4 leavning gurney..
our very 1st pic 2gether =)
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
a new challenge in my life
13 nov 2008..
never expect dis relationship to happen so fast..
im glad to know him.. he makes me love n too be loved again..
i shall put my faith in dis relationhip too as he does..
but for de very 1st time.. we got a lil arguement yesterday..
it was de 13th day since we both b 2gether..
de argue was unplanned...n it related to 1 of his best fren..
well, wad should i say..
actually im de one who started it cuz i walked out on him after our conversation in msn..
my heart felt uneasy when we're in de conversation, so i left it..
i felt dat there's a gap between me n his fren, a big gap..
mayb cuz de language we use n our background..
i cant pretend to talk naturally...i felt stress n suffocating...
i dunno y it'll happen..
mayb i giv myself pressure cuz we'e different..
i swear i din hate anyone else but myself..i hate myself fo being so lame....
y cant i talk like usually i do? i really hate it when such tings happen..
i left him guilt for hours dat i left without giving any reasons...
i failed to keep my promise to be honest to him..it's juz hard to tell sometimes especially when to protect our pride..
it's juz so hard to say it although it's simple n nth big..
n i too tink it's quite silly....
finally, we bcom cool n chat like normal again..
when i tink back, de feeling is still there..
mayb i'm giving myself too much pressure n too worry about how ppl tink of me..
i hope dat i can overcome dis feeling cuz it's awful..
i juz wanna make it easy juz to communicate wif anyone...
n im not giving up easily in dis relationship..
im sure i can do better than b4...
never expect dis relationship to happen so fast..
im glad to know him.. he makes me love n too be loved again..
i shall put my faith in dis relationhip too as he does..
but for de very 1st time.. we got a lil arguement yesterday..
it was de 13th day since we both b 2gether..
de argue was unplanned...n it related to 1 of his best fren..
well, wad should i say..
actually im de one who started it cuz i walked out on him after our conversation in msn..
my heart felt uneasy when we're in de conversation, so i left it..
i felt dat there's a gap between me n his fren, a big gap..
mayb cuz de language we use n our background..
i cant pretend to talk naturally...i felt stress n suffocating...
i dunno y it'll happen..
mayb i giv myself pressure cuz we'e different..
i swear i din hate anyone else but myself..i hate myself fo being so lame....
y cant i talk like usually i do? i really hate it when such tings happen..
i left him guilt for hours dat i left without giving any reasons...
i failed to keep my promise to be honest to him..it's juz hard to tell sometimes especially when to protect our pride..
it's juz so hard to say it although it's simple n nth big..
n i too tink it's quite silly....
finally, we bcom cool n chat like normal again..
when i tink back, de feeling is still there..
mayb i'm giving myself too much pressure n too worry about how ppl tink of me..
i hope dat i can overcome dis feeling cuz it's awful..
i juz wanna make it easy juz to communicate wif anyone...
n im not giving up easily in dis relationship..
im sure i can do better than b4...
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