D A M N ! !

What the hell on earth is happening?
How come got people ask her own sister DON'T go to find her if the purpose is to spend time with her? damn! I'm so so frus now!!

I was planning to meet my friends on this week and overnight at my sis place.
I told her I maybe go on thurs and back on sat with her.
But the situation changed, in consequence, i changed my plan too.
I will go on wed but not going to stay until sat.
Then my sis stopped me from going to find her and ask me "dont' come?!"
Dumb-ass!
You think i'm so free to travel for 1.30hours for fun? I'd been to pg for 10x times during this holidays and I'm really quite lazy to go there now.
But because I haven't meet up any of my matric friends and we already had a deal, that's why I'm going there, again.
My sis will be working till 4.30pm so she only free at night.
And I'm with good intention to find her and to accompany her on her free time because she said she is bored!
What's wrong with this person ?
I just change the plan, move forward the date, not cancel it, can't she compromise with me for once?
What about the last time I went to find her on thurs and already said I'll be staying for two nights, but on friday her VIP suddenly is coming and I was forced to go back with my parents because the room is too small and it's impossible I'm staying there to be a bulb.
Does she apologize or say something so that I won't feel like I'm the extra one? Maybe she think it's unecessary because I won't put it in my heart, normally it's my role to compromise with her? Or maybe I've got too much time to waste and it doesn't matter to waste my time sitting at the room alone online whole day while she was not in?! Or because I'm such a soft hearted girl and she can used me?!

Sometimes you let me down sis, you make me feel everyone is not important at all, except your VIP.
I never keep it from you when you asked. But you could kept secret from me and said that you regretted to tell me that after they have known it due to your 'unusual' act?
I never treated you like that alright?
Though when I don't have plan or when free I just find you, but at least I find you and not other people else. And I find you when i'm free!!
If I follow the first plan now, that's mean I'm gonna let a few person down. My friends might have to compromise with me. I can't take that ok?
Fine. I'm not gonna bother you for now.

This is why I don't always go W/M because I think I'm an extra there though they don't mind to let us stay. I'm just a furball on the street when no people's home. People welcome me when they're happy, but when they're not, I have to makan sendiri.
I thought family is about 'nobody's left behind'..
You won't understand the feeling when you don't have the key of the big door although you're welcome to stay inside. When there's no one to open the door for you, you'll be wandering on the street if no one's there to help, like a homeless person! It's a feeling that you never dream of.
Maybe I'm not acting immature now but I really feel that way and I'm really angry now.
Just wanna let it out before I go crazy.
This is also why I don't like to beg for help. You just have to act according to that person's happiness. Why do I have to humiliate myself? Sorry but I'm an Aries girl.
Thanks for the offer but no thanks!


p/s: I'll probably forget about this after I wake up tomorrow.