Actually I had a very terrible dream last night. One of the foremost important person died in my dream due to a foolish reason that wouldn't be possible in reality. I was very sad and I cried in my dream. I don't even believe that she's gone. I tried so hard to search for her when people told me she's missing but her body is still not found. Until it is proved that she's dead, I totally broke down, my heart was broken. I cried as hard as I could but the tears was useless. She won't come back to life anymore. No one can understand how bad I felt and how hurt I was! I hated myself that I couldn't protect her and yet, allowed her to be out there to risk her life... How could I?
Though it was just a dream, but when I woke up, the feeling is still there. I can feel it so clearly like it just happened. It was so REAL...!! I really can't bare to lose people like her or anyone important in life! But I know that someday, the death god will come and take one's life away when it is time. I couldn't imagine how wil I react, maybe I'll go crazy? Lol..........it's not funny anyway. Each time I recall of the dream, it's like a knife is carving my heart, slowly and deeply. Hurt and painful that I couldn't say it out.
Just one day apart from my hometown, I've got this terrible dream. Maybe I'm not used to sleep alone after these two months... Loneliness, I NEVER will used to it! Apart from my parents, sisters, friends and those who I used to live with for 20 years... Are you guys doing well out there? I'll pray that you all will be safe and healthy always:) Hopefully I won't have nightmare again tonight, it terrifies me.
Tomorrow will a brand new day, the day that I enter the next stage of my life. I thought I wouldn't miss home because I always think that I'm not a mommy's girl....But who knows? I'm not, because I can't.......Because I don't even have a chance. Although sometimes I hate you and rebels at home, but I love you more. I would want to respect you, as you have granted me my life and my chance to this world.
p/s: Happy birthday to Yi Hang sis.
Though it was just a dream, but when I woke up, the feeling is still there. I can feel it so clearly like it just happened. It was so REAL...!! I really can't bare to lose people like her or anyone important in life! But I know that someday, the death god will come and take one's life away when it is time. I couldn't imagine how wil I react, maybe I'll go crazy? Lol..........it's not funny anyway. Each time I recall of the dream, it's like a knife is carving my heart, slowly and deeply. Hurt and painful that I couldn't say it out.
Just one day apart from my hometown, I've got this terrible dream. Maybe I'm not used to sleep alone after these two months... Loneliness, I NEVER will used to it! Apart from my parents, sisters, friends and those who I used to live with for 20 years... Are you guys doing well out there? I'll pray that you all will be safe and healthy always:) Hopefully I won't have nightmare again tonight, it terrifies me.
Tomorrow will a brand new day, the day that I enter the next stage of my life. I thought I wouldn't miss home because I always think that I'm not a mommy's girl....But who knows? I'm not, because I can't.......Because I don't even have a chance. Although sometimes I hate you and rebels at home, but I love you more. I would want to respect you, as you have granted me my life and my chance to this world.
p/s: Happy birthday to Yi Hang sis.
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