I don't feel right tonight. I can't concentrate at all. There are too much things in my mind that I couldn't fully relax and enjoy dancing. It was supposed to be a relaxing exercise and I should just dance and throw away all the worries. But I don't feel that way. I kept on thinking on my presentations and the upcoming test on this Wednesday. There's not only a test, there will be more on next week or the following week for sure. And I have at least two presentations in a week. Maybe it's just a small presentation but I need to have full preparation. Somehow they are like a burden in me. When I'm serious in doing something, I will put my effort to do it no matter how much time is required. But there are too much! I have to manage my time precisely for each subjects and activities. I can't waste a single minute! That's why I enjoy to the fullest because that's not more free time I have. Otherwise, I need some rest. Too many things that I have to do. I even have to think what to do now, either study or blog. Then I decided to do blogging because I already study for the whole day, and if I don't blog today, the posts will be delayed. Honestly, i can't slack off, I've been pushing too hard. I look normal to you I know, but you don't know what's inside me. I don't speak out the bitter, I would share only the joy. Now I realized the profit and the importance of blogging. It a medium to catch up with what a person does all day without having to extract part of your time to ask what he/she has been doing since everyone is so busy, especially those people who are close to you.
Suddenly I think of a poem that I've read in my mailbox two days ago. It's written by a teenage girl who suffered in cancer.
SLOW DANCE
Have you ever watched kids On a merry-go-round?
Or listened to the rain Slapping on the ground?
Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight?
Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?
You better slow down.. Don't dance so fast. Time is short. The music won't last.
Do you run through each day On the fly?
When you ask How are you? Do you hear the reply?
When the day is done Do you lie in your bed
With the next hundred chores Running through your head?
You'd better slow down Don't dance so fast. Time is short. The music won't last..
Ever told your child, We'll do it tomorrow?
And in your haste, Not see his sorrow?
Ever lost touch, Let a good friendship die
Cause you never had time To call and say,'Hi'
You'd better slow down. Don't dance so fast. Time is short. The music won't last.
When you run so fast to get somewhere You miss half the fun of getting there.
When you worry and hurry through your day, It is like an unopened gift....
Thrown away.
Life is not a race. Do take it slower Hear the music Before the song is over.
Honestly, to some questions in the poem, my answer is a 'no'. I missed the call from my parents since yesterday and I don't have time to call back. The only time I have to call them is while waiting for the bus to get back to my college. I don't even have time for dinner today. I asked a friend to buy me a dinner because I don't have time to buy it, I ate it after we done the stretching and before they start teaching new steps during dance class. They were refreshing last week's practice at the meantime. I wish I could slow down but I can't, time is rushing in me. Maybe I place myself too busy and my life is abnormal now. I'm lacking of interaction with my family and some of my friends. I don't really have time to drop by and chat leisurely with a friend.
But I promise myself, only these few months, until the mooncake festival performance. Perhaps I will have my normal schedule back after that. Sometimes in order to succeed, sacrifice is needed. But I can't afford to sacrifice my friends and family. I want to apologize if I don't answer your call or reply your message. I hope that you can understand that I will reply it as soon as I have free time to do that. Even if I don't send you a message to say 'hi', I would always wish all of you are doing fine. I think I really need to slow down. No matter how, I have to slow down before everything changes unknowingly. Sigh, now I'm worry of being single. LOL
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