Sunday, February 22, 2009

I Hate This Part Right Here

it's 4 am now...
2hours ago, i was rolling on de bed wif my eyes opened...
i cant slp, suffering insomnia rite now...
shouldnt hv viewed my blog b4 i slp, when i saw de "unwanted" ting..
each word i read it's like carving on me...it hurts!

how to describe de feeling?
it's like ....
uhm..
u got small cottage..a simple 1, but vr comfy to stay inside..
u built it wif love n care..
one day, u set a fire n burnt it..
there's nthg left but black, poisoned ashes..
u ignore it as u nvr seen it, cuz u don wanna feel it...
u knew dat once u face it, tears is going to fall from ur face n ur heart feels pain like u're being stabbed a hundred times...
but it's stil there....u nvr know..
until it is gone wif de wind, how long it would take for dat...?

dat is how i felt..
smth i'd lost ...
nvr wanna face it n assumed dat it wont come back..
i wont wanna know whether it is stil there..
cuz i don hav de courage to even hav a glance at it..
don wanna hav dat kinda feel again...

i feel so bad n lonely as i cant slp..
wanted to call someone1 to talk but i dunno who to call..
talking about close fren...de 1 closest to heart..
i don tink if i hav any now...
cuz im not gud in keepin gud connection wif all of them..
n i don tend to share my problems wif ppl...
not dat im not willing to share but i juz don feel like talking on de unhappy tings..
it might seems like i got many frens..
but when it comes to personal problem, i really dunno who i can rely on..
how pathetic it is, ironically..
feels like no one is by my side..
im all alone, struggling wif myself..
tryin to b stronger..
sometimes i really envious of those who's fren would stood up for them when they got into sth at de 1st place.....

de only ting i hope now is dat 'mr sweetheart' pls don leave ur msg at my blog again..
i felt annoyed n uncomfortable whn i c it...
sry for dis but for our own gud, pls dont..
be gone as how u wish..

***

time to slp..startin to feel dizzy here..
gonna listen 'beat it' again b4 i off..old version by M.J, new version by Fall Out Boys..
im so into dis song...it boils my spirit!haha...
gudnite everyone..

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

u can always dial 0125396834 whenever u feel like talking..even if its 4 in the morning XD

tomato` said...

he just shouldn't leave comments like that >.< its so hurting ? even i as outsider read ad also angry @.@

he masked the whole thing by saying sorry etc etc but every word has another meaning ?

he made it into those "i told u so" messages >.< like girl @.@ so bu kan yen >.<

dun mind me i'm just pissed @.@ ya just call that number =D she don't need that much sleep

X u A n i E said...

yalo...cant stand it! made me cant slp at nite..Zzz..
if i were a guy, i already giv him de F word soon after i read it!
haha..
but doesnt matter d, he gav back me all at once upon how i treated him.. i owe him nthg now..we're even..

X u A n i E said...

btw, thanks u guys for supporting me..im feel better now ^^

tomato` said...

u treat him dat bad ? >.< women are dangerous things !_!

X u A n i E said...

haha....
not dat bad la....juz not so gud,lol!

Anonymous said...

i noe how bad u can treat them >< haha

X u A n i E said...

Zzzz...
it's not bad k?
cool is my characteristic dat i can freeze de surroundings..hahha!