In life, we had to make many decisions. It may be difficult, it may be easy. Sometimes we make decision without considering the consequences, we do it spontaneously and that is when we are young and all we want is just to have some fun. Sometimes there are too many consequences to think of and it makes a hard time for us. But no matter what decision we've made, it would affect our life. Obvious or not, there's definitely a change.
I've been making a lot of decisions myself without asking permission from anyone include my parents since I was in high school. I was once a rebel at home who always argue with my parents, disagree what they'd said to me, I'd even said words which hurt them and also myself.. Those are things I've done before I'm 20. A lot of false decisions I've done and brought up unhappiness to my life. Now and then, I've learned and still learning from my past time, trying to make a good decision and a better life. But things won't go smoothly as you aspect, life is full of obstacles right? Especially when you're unaware, troubles might come and seek for you.
Again, I'm in the stage of life which is confusing. Wondering what is right and what is wrong, it's just a state of mind but I've find it's hard to determine. In consequence, I feel miserable and don't know which road should I choose. I seek for friends' opinions and answers but there just weren't any answers that can satisfy me. In fact, deeply inside, I actually know what I should do which is best for me. Frankly, it is very hard for me to make that decision because I'm not willing to, I keep lying to myself that I will be happy but honestly I won't! And won't be proud of what I did for the rest of my life. It's not just for temporary happiness, it could ruin my life.
After taking the wrong path and thinking that I would just go for it, someone came to remind me that I should reconsider it. It was like awaken from a dream which is dragging me to hell, I felt that I've made the decision too fast. I have time. I shouldn't have made the conclusion without considering the hypothesis, a wise man won't do that. In a second, I thought I was blinded by love but it's actually my desire, not love. I wouldn't be bounded by love and my love would not bound. The lesson learned is not to let the desire taking control of me but I myself must control the desire. Desire is a powerful thing which can make a person unconscious of what he/her is doing. This time, I can't just do whatever I want because the person who'll be hurt in the end is only me, not anybody else. I shouldn't lose my wisdom. I wouldn't want another trauma and cure it for another few years!
I'm glad that I have the courage to find the way back and now I'm on the normal track. =) People make mistakes in life, who doesn't? It's not about how serious the mistake you've done but is about whether you are willing to correct the mistakes you've done. Always remember that you have to take the responsibility of what you decided to do. Ain't nobody else are going to take care of the mess that you've done.
p/s: Here I apologize to those who I've hurt and disappointed. Yes, I'm still me and do not doubt it. Just have a little faith. =)
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