Pathetic Day

At last I'm in UKM again, alone. My roommate delayed her flight as usual, lol... After cleaning up my room, I went to sleep as I was really tired, woke up at 7am, hehe..

I promised my friend to bring them to dinner, so I went to check on the car which I had parked in Zaba for one week to see whether it's still in good condition. I've heard before that if a car was left untouched for a long time, maybe some problems will occur. It didn't disappoint me, the car engine can't be started. Damn shit! LOL. I called my friendS for help. After a while, finally a mechanic promised to come, I was worried that all shops are closed because today is day 8 of cny. I don't know whether it should be considered lucky or unlucky, I waited for the mechanic for an hour and he still haven't show up. He was lost in UKM! swt... I got his number through an anonymous (I also don't know how he get to that person) and directed him the way to my college for almost 20 mins but he still can't find it. I was getting more and more pek chek (can't find an english word for this, haha) that I called my coursemate to bring me to that man and escorted him to my college. Finally, the car was fixed and I had to pay 200 bucks for it! Today is the day that I made the most calls just for that little waja. Swt!

I was too bored and lazy, TSP too! As soon as the car was fixed, we went to MV and watched a movie - Percy Jackson and Lightning Thief. The movie was quite nice and humorous. Just one thing embarrassing was that, I've got no enough cash when I was purchasing the movie tickets. (substantially was paid to the car service!) They cost RM24 and I'd only got Rm14 with me. I called TSP as she was queueing for drinks that time but I can't reached her. The only way was, I asked the agent to hold on and I quickly ran to TSP and get RM10 from her! LOL.... Walao, I was really , seriously mempersiasuikan myself. Aikx....lol

After the movie, we went back to college and there is still no water supply until now! Wtf! It was already 12am but we were forced to drive to another nearby college just to bathe and enjoy the cleanness of body. Can't sleep well without washing my face and brushing my teeth! Haha...

That's the pathetic day of mine.... I'm so lazy to do other things now. I just want to sleep! Goodnight world, wish tomorrow will be better. =)

:(

Ffff***!!!

I hate this kind of feeling, worrying for someone but can't talk to him.

It's driving me crazy!

I hate when he's not there and I'm free like a bee. (Why bee? Imma bee Imma bee Imma listening to b.e.p)

Wish I could just simply grab anyone and go out to have a drink, but I'm lazy. swt..

Something's missing, I feel insecure.

I'm worried.

It makes me feels like if he ever exists in this world.

It's only a couple hours but I'm going crazy, can't concentrate on what I'm doing at all.

I don't have mood for anything now.

At last I ended up editing new year photos the whole night and uploading them!

I was supposed to study.

Now I finally can understand my friend's feeling when her guy is not replying her at all.

Perhaps I'm just madly in love, just like her. :(

This feeling sucks!

Phone off, time to sleep.

Don't expect me to reply anytime you want, I can choose not to be 24 7.


p/s: Will update on CNY when I have the mood and time. Hopefully I have...

....miss...

Damn, whatever I'm doing or wherever I go, my head is full of him. Holy!

How I wish he can return tomorrow.. Maybe I'm starting to be free now and that's why I miss him more than days ago... hahaha..

It feels not right when we're not texting each other before I go to bed.. It becomes a habit of mine now.

Somehow, I feel strange tonight.

I don't wish to go back to uni so soon but I can't wait to see him!


Missing him.
Sigh......

The Answer

It's good to be home and it's Chinese New Year! I'm always excited when we get to visit to relatives' house and get many ang paus, when my cousins came back to visit us because out grandma stays here and when gathering with friends. Moreover, a few of my friends and relatives came back from overseas this time, it's good to see them too. :)

There's someone I wanted to see but don't get to see as he was at a far far away land now. Well, I quite enjoy my new year though, I got to meet up with friends at a few gathering and went for dinners with my families. Still, there's something stuck in me and I think it's about him.

When I told my old friends or my cousin about him, one thing they asked: "Is China people reliable?"

I know they mean no harm but then, I don't have a definite answer. My view is that, not everyone is the same and I'm not that type of people who is stereotype. Don't judge things by its appearance. When you see people from their behaviour, it might turn you off. Before I got to approach to these Chinese people, although I don't have any bad thinking about them, but I don't like smokers and a lot of them smoke. I don't discriminate them though because it's not something that I can change. After I got to know them, I think they're quite friendly and some of them have good characters, basically I think they are more gentleman than local guys (no offence). It's just like when you get to know some new friends, after some time you'll be able to distinguish each of their characters and then you know the good and the bad. It's not about the nationality, it's about who he is.

It's too general if someone says "China people is not reliable". You cannot judge them just because they like to drink and smoke and party always. Not only China people, many other foreign students who came to study here are almost the same. I think many of our local people did smoke and drink at my age but yet, how many of them smoke secretly because they're afraid to let their parents to know. "I don't like the smell of smoke" is more precise compare to "I don't like smokers" because my friends smoke and he smokes too! I did accompanied my friends at late night when they're down and feel like smoking at a place where their parents or friends can't see, just that I don't smoke together with them and I don't encourage them to smoke too.

He is not just anyone whom I just met yesterday. He is a friend, a special one who I feel like to share everything with. He is someone I knew for months and chatted everyday, somehow our friendship developed very fast and we became so close to each other. When you meet someone like this, you won't mind any of his/her flaws because they seems so tiny and I believe that things change in time. People change.

I would rather live my life as if there is a God and die to find out there isn't, than live my life as if there isn't and die to find out there is.

I believe in him. There's a risk for me believing in him because I might get disappointed in the end. But if I don't, I won't get to know how splendid my life can be or I shall miss the one who is destined for me? I won't be able to find out if we're meant for each other. Yes, I know it sounds a bit blind but life it's not complete with this risk called love. I have nothing to lose and thus, I accept this challenge.

If someone ask me the same question again, this will be my answer.

记得吃！

Late night supper at ss2 with my friends, a short and simple gathering where we talk about food! Hehe... We went to this "Remember to Eat" restaurant to try on some desserts as it was recommended by little Von, hehe..

Do you know what do they call?
"Loh" lo.... Hehe..

(left) Ice Frutti Loh, Mango Loh(the best I think :D), Honeydew Loh and Strawberry Loh.. ^^

Looks cute and tempting!

Yam cake and radish cake.
I like the taste of them, soft and a bit sticky feel. Hehe..

Curry Beef Mee (MUST TRY!!)

Tom Yam Beef Noodle.
A bit too sour but still nice, hehe..

Crab sticks...Never order it again, can't taste the cheese! =.=

Sticky rice!

Woolala~ Sesame soup....

Peanut soup..AWESOME!!!! xD

This was the first round and there were 6 of us. The 3 of us dropped by McD during the second round. I ordered a hot tea while others enjoying their Marlboro and we had some girls' talk though there was a boy in our conversation. haha.

As a conclusion, most of the girls met the same problem! hahaha.... I mean most girls behave in the same way, they often check on the screen whether there is an incoming message, in fact the phone hasn't ring at all..When the guys are not replying or calling back, they tend to imagine things and subsequently feel insecure. At last, they get mad. When this happens, guys are in trouble....haha.

Actually there is a solution for this matter. Guys, all you have to do is always reassure the girls to make them feel more secure, because when you're having fun outside with your friends and you only can focus on playing, your girl is waiting for your message at home and worrying about you! In fact, you only have fun with the guys but the girls will think that you're sleeping with another girl! I know it's sounds ridiculous, prove me wrong. Well, a smart guy will not let this happens because it is hard to lead the girl back. Prevention is better than cure. :D

My Girls.

Here are some of my photos collection with my girls during our pre-cny gathering at Klang with other coursemates as well. :D

Why them? I once posted "It's good to have friends, especially those who cares..." was actually referring to them. :)

At home we rely on our parents, when go out we rely on friends. I have to agree with this, it's so true. When we're apart from home and living independently, sometimes friends really do help us a lot, especially when we met with problems.

At a certain period of time, we all had the same problems - l o v e. Haha! One thing so strange and coincidence was that, we all follow the "international routes". lol! Rapunzel had this summer fling with a Korean guy; Little Mermaid was putting effort to pull back her guy in Singapore (he was a Malaysian but he's working there, consider overseas, haha!); Cinderella and Jasmine were stuck with China's while Sleeping Beauty was having a sound sleep and still have. haha...

I really feel very lucky to have them. When the day I "disappeared", they were so worried about me and kept on texting and calling... Since then, I realized that they really care for me and it had proven something, something which is precious in my life. It's really good to know that you're important to someone who is equally important to you too. :D It's actually the same when your parents do so to you, when they keep on calling because it's late and you haven't go home. It means that they do care about you. So don't feel annoying although sometimes they did, haha!

It made me feel bad when thought of I first ffk them during new year count down, my sincere apology here. :) Anyway, those who are listed in my "best friends list" will remain and won't be eliminated unless you requested it. =.=

So, here goes.... Our memorable pics! haha....

At the seafood home-restaurant. ^^

Sweet. I like this. :D

Our favourites - making ugly faces! haha..

Smoochin' .. muacks!

Mustachioed!!! Lolxxxx

While waiting for the traffic! haha..

Happy Tiger Year!!! xD

Of course I won't forget another 2 fellas. My roommie and Reen Reen-chan! haha.... I don't have a proper of our latest photo so I just uploaded the old ones la. Hehe..

Clara - caring for us like a mother!
How can I live without you? Haha!..

Reen reen.... ^^

Last but not least, Happy Tiger Year to everyone, hope you all have a prosperity year and gain glory with success! Cheers! :D

Listen to Your Heart.

"不是男朋友的男朋友

每个女生心里都有一个不是男朋友的男朋友
你们可能相爱过，你们也可能喜欢着彼此，
但是，为了什么原因你们没能在一起？
也许他为了朋友之间的义气，不能追你。
也许为了顾及家人的意见 ，你们没有在一起。
也许为了自己的前程，她没有要你等她。


也许你们相遇太早，
还不懂得珍惜对方。

也许你们相遇太晚，
你们身边已经有了另一个人。

也许你回头太迟，
对方已不再等待。

也许你们彼此在捉摸对方的心，
而迟迟无法跨出界线。

不过即使你们没在一起，
你们还是保持了朋友的关系。

但是你们心底清楚，
对这个人，你比朋友还多了一份关心。

即使不能跟他名正言顺的牵着手逛街，
你们还是可以做无所不谈的朋友。

她有喜欢的人，你口头上会帮他追，
心里却不是很清楚你是不是真的希望她追到。

她遇到困难时，
你会尽你所能的帮她，
不会计较谁又欠了谁。

男女朋友吃醋了，
你会安抚他们说你和她只是朋友，
但你心中会有那么一丝的不确定。

每个人这辈子，
心中都有过这幺一个特别的朋友，
很矛盾的行为。

一开始你不甘心只做朋友的，
但久了，突然发现这样最好。

你宁愿这样关心她，
总好过你们在一起而有天会分手。

你宁愿做她的朋友，
彼此不会吃醋，才可以真的无所不谈。


特别是这样，
你还是知道，
她永远会关心你的。

做不成男女朋友，
当她那个特别的朋友，
有什么不好呢？

你心中的这个特别的朋友...? 是谁呢？


很多的感情，
都因为一厢情愿，
最后连朋友都当不成了

常常觉得惋惜，
可惜一些本来很好的友情

最后却因为对方的一句喜欢你，
如果你没有反应，这一段友情似乎也难以维持下去，
这也难怪有些人会因此不肯踏出这一步。

因为这就像是一场赌注，
表白了之后不是成了男女朋友，
要不就连朋友都当不成了。

有些事不是你能预料的，或许对方不在意，
你们还可以是朋友，但却已经不如从前的......


关于爱情：
不要认为后面还有更好的，因为现在拥有就是最好的。
不要认为我还年轻，可以晚些结婚，爱情是不等年龄的。
不要因为距离太远而放弃，爱情是可以和你一起坐火车的。
不要因为对方不富裕而放弃，只要不是无能的人，勤劳可以

让你们致富。
不要因为父母反对而放弃，你会发现这个原因而放弃的爱情，将是你一生的悔恨。
其实，对于爱情，越单纯越幸福！一生只谈一次恋爱是最好的。经历的太多了，会麻木，分离多了，会习惯，换恋人多了，会比较，到最后你会不再相信爱情，你会自暴自弃，你会毫无生气，你会行尸走肉，你会与一个你不爱的人结婚，就这样过一辈子···

所以牵好的手就不要轻易放开，说过的话就不要轻易收回，承诺过的人就不要轻易忘记···

有些人，有些事，既然发生了。
就注定是你一生的回忆···"

Quoted from Facebook.

I was caught in the exact situation like how the author describes. To me, it's a normal thing which happens among us people nowadays. Although it mentioned that being friends forever is the best way, but if you see this matter from another perspective, that is what people normally will say when they can't get together with someone they like. People tend to convince themselves as a way to escape when they can't get something they want. They speak according to their minds but not the heart. If there is a chance, I'm sure most of the people would want to be with that person who they really love for we only can live life once. Once you miss the chance, there won't be another unless you are a damn lucky guy/girl in this world. One heart can only delegate to one person. You just have to choose and make the decision that who you really want to be with before you go on and regretted for life.

I'm glad that today, I finally can get rid of this problem. It sucks big time actually. ;)

A-Yue - Yearning Is a Kind of Sickness

In a lifetime how many times are you too late

in discovering you’ve already lost what’s most important to you

Sudden realizations are long gone, why is it only after making mistakes

that you’re willing to believe that you are the one who was wrong

They say that’s just life, you have to try and learn from experience

Try enduring falling tears or you’ll hide yourself away from the feelings you should have

I can’t plead with the world to stop turning

I know avoidance isn’t useful at all

It’s just that right now, especially at night

I’ll still think of things that are hard to forget

I think my yearning is a kind of sickness, for so long I haven’t been able to recover from it

Frantically forgetting that the people beside us need love and concern

excuses always increase the distance between us

Unwittingly, unknowingly, we’re always busy complaining and disobeying

yet we’re unwilling to look back and examine ourselves

Thinking of what foolish things we’ve actually done

perhaps it’s God testing me

It’s just that this wound requires a bit of time

it’s just that I yearn for everything that has passed

Those people and things are far from me

and we eventually will also find distance turned to memories

When you are on the other side of the mountains and hills, there’s no end to my lonely road

I often think I feel you breathing behind my ears, but I’ve never felt the breath of your deepest thoughts

Oh yearning is a kind of sickness, a kind of sickness

For how long have you not said I love you

for how long have you not embraced the people you love

When this world is no longer so lovely

only love can make things better

I believe, it’s still not too late, ignore those constant disruptions

Don’t make unhappy things stop your progress

I’m just afraid you won’t speak, just afraid you won’t act

Don’t let the regret continue, it’s still not too late

When you finally found love and if you have the chance, you just have to grab it before it slips away. We won't be able to meet the same person for twice in life. Once you miss it, it's gonna be forever. Until then, it's too late to say sorry.

Troubled Heart.

"Two is better than one" - I stayed in the car until it was finish playing in the radio. I tried to calm down my mind, stop thinking about him and the "thing" that he's going to settle.. But I can't lie to myself, I'm afraid that I might lose and get hurt this time. The result seems so uncertain and we are far apart, things are totally out of my control.

The day before he left, I wrote him a message and gave him 2 'hearts' - one represents mine and another represents his. I gave him mine. As for his, I want him to consider twice before he makes his decision. I told him that no matter what the result is, I still will give him a smile. If you love something, set it free. If it's yours, it will come back to you; if it's not, it won't. The same applies to human too. If his heart doesn't belong to me, I will not persist. Confessing to him was the most difficult thing to me, but I will never regret for it.

Deep inside, I know, I mean we know for what purpose he went back to his country besides celebrating Chinese New Year. Thing has to be done. Although he gave me his words but there's a thick fog in front and I can't see anything, things might change and we can't predict it. Nothing is absolute. I feel worry and helpless but what more can I do? I should not and won't take the initiative to ask him about it until he comes to inform me himself.

Honestly, I'm afraid that he's just a dream. This time, I'm taking it seriously. I'm taking it seriously simply because, I think that he's the one. He's the reality in my dream. I hope that I'm not wrong. It's the second time I have such a strong feeling since my first love. No offence but it's true and I'm telling it. The greater the hope, the greater the disappointment. For now, I can't do anything until I see rays leading my way. Anyway, the conclusion can only be made after Chinese New Year's break and there are two more weeks to go. It's going to be hard for me..

Madness!

Sorry for neglecting my blog in these few weeks, I'd no time and mood to write as I'd been playing hard, studying hard and working hard! Haha.. Looking back, I seriously think that my January was quite happening and it scares me!...

The very first thing, I went clubbing for FIVE times on that month itself! Not almost but in fact every week I went there without missing once! I think I'm crazy..LOL~ I wasn't planning anything but it's all just happened this way. Five times with different group of people but partially of them were the same. It's not that I'm addicted to club, but I was so troubled by love that I just grab any chance to give myself a break! Love could really killed someone.

All this while I'd been keeping those words from him until when he told me how he felt to me. I'm not Iron-woman who has a strong heart, I can't insist anymore! Finally the last time at Zouk aka farewell party for our Korean friends, despite having fun, I broke down and cried as hard as I could, releasing the pain and uncomfortableness in my heart which I'd been suffering for the whole week! I hugged my friend so tightly and tears began to drop on my face, I really cried like a baby and I'd forgotten the last time when I cried like that! After that, I turned to him and expressed everything, I confessed! It was the first time I felt so hard to tell someone that I like him. I was afraid to take the first step. But now I'm glad that I'd said out those words, it was really torturing when keeping them in my heart! And I won't regret for what I've said today.

The second thing was, I'd attended 2 concerts for FREE! One is during New Year Count Down at 1Utama while another is at Mont Kiara when Boys Like Girls came to Malaysia and Nokia were doing their promotion of Nokia X6!!!! Woot~ We were really excited on that day and we managed to book the first row!! Yeah~ The opening was so awesome, DJ Goldfish was really great!! xD Too bad that I didn't get to squeeze in when my friends were taking photo wif Utt, he is damn cool and handsome! Sob T.T

Third, I think that this time I'm not so committed in NTLP 13. As one of the director, I didn't really carry out my responsibility and I'm ashamed of what I had not done. I was just so busy on studies, dance practicing, partying and lately I'd also joined ALSA committee board for the National Conference which will also be held on March and just a few days before NTLP13. I swear that I didn't skip the meeting for nothing, in fact it always clash with my other activities and I'm sick of it! I really feel bad when thought of this and sometimes I lost my mood. Anyway, I'm finding a best solution now. Either I quit my position as a director and demote myself to the dancer's supervisor or continue it....I need an answer for this.

Forth, the earliest time I go to bed is after 2a.m. How long can I live if continue this kind of life style? But I still stick the phrase - "work hard, play hard" for we only can live life once.

If you look at my calendar, basically my February and March activities are almost equally full.... Somehowm I agreed to my friend - this semester is not only tired or exhausted, but fatigue! Things that need to be done seems endless..... Help?