Coming Through

Back to where I have started. I am again, on my own. This time, it's different as I am no longer a student in comparison with 4 years ago when I was still young and ignorant.

The people and the society surrounding me now are completely different. But I am not lost nor shocked as I have came prepared. To start a whole new life all over again. I take this as a second chance given and I shall not fail again.

Now, I am trying to achieve what I want in life and to become a person who I'd like to become, for my own 's sake. In the past, I was afraid to go after what I wanted for myself and often put other's priority before mine. Probably I was somehow, trained to be like that because I am the middle child in my family. When my elder sister always gets what she requests for and the best thing goes to my younger sister, and I will get the left over. End up I wasn't happy with what I got.

Nobody cares whether you are happy, all they care is they get what they want.'

Too many heartbreaks, too many broken dreams, too many rejections, too much anger and grieveness, too many disappointment....towards myself. Because I mind how people think about me or how they look at me, all I wanted to do is become a better person in the eyes of others.

I was totally wrong for thinking ans actung in that way. Not only that i didn't do better but I was lost. It took me so so so long to finally THINK and FIND my own ways to get out of there. It wasn't easy and in fact, I was risking my destiny.

And finally, I have came to the decision and I chose my future over everything else. I ended my 4 years relationship and decided to remain at the place where I am currently working at and to stay at the place where I am staying now. I am not going anywhere because I like being here. I feel happier here and have a sense of belonging. As simple as that.

To myself, I still possess the same personality but I have changed my attitude towards life and many other things for "your attitude can either make things or break things ". What is in the past is already a past. But, make sure you don't regret of your decision. For things that I have regreted of letting go, I am going make up to them because I shouldn't have removed from my life.

I admit that there are false decisions that I have made in the past and mistakes. But all these make up my life and make me grow wiser and stronger each day. I can't guarantee that I will always do the right thing from now onwards because I am not perfect, no one is and we are all human beings - who tend to make mistakes!

But no matter how, I will still be humble and keep learning. I am not afraid to be myself now and I am happier, in general. :)

Life still sucks sometimes, but hey, nothing is permanent so does trouble. :) So, just keep calm and say "I love my life!". :)